


Where Do You Get Your Ideas From?

by inamac



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Puns, Fanfiction, Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Rimming, suggestive artwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-24 11:36:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1603706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inamac/pseuds/inamac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relaxation in the Order of the Phoenix, Circa 1970s.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Do You Get Your Ideas From?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Birthday Present](https://archiveofourown.org/works/222924) by [inamac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inamac/pseuds/inamac). 



> Written for a Daily Deviant prompt in which I was asked to show what happens when Severus finds out the uses to which Minerva puts some of her art collection in my story 'A Birthday Present'. I'd been listening to 'The Archers' radio serial, and thinking about how the Wizarding Wireless seems stuck in the 1950s, when there were a lot of adventure serials - and, presumably, fans, and fanfiction, and fanart. And every fan artist needs a model...

## Where Do You Get Your Ideas From?

The stirring music that signalled the end of the Lily and Alice's favourite wireless programme filled the small sitting room where the off duty members of the Order of the Phoenix were relaxing.

_"Will Jamie arrive in time to free Ric and Chalky? Can the trio foil Von Vormold's dastardly plot? Tune in again for the next exciting episode of Ric Morton, Special Auror!_

Alice put aside her notebook to click the 'off' switch. Lily gave a sigh. "Ric sounds so dishy," she said, "And he's so doing it with Jamie."

"And Chalky," Alice nodded. "Only they'd never put that sort of thing on the wizarding wireless."

"So we have to write it ourselves. How is your story coming?

"Stuck. You know Uncle Bob used to tell me incredible stories about his time with the Auror Service in the 20s, but he never mentioned gay love affairs between agents."

"I bet they did though, " said Lily, picking up her sketch book and adding another line to the curve of what her fellow fan had described as _Ric's firm, clenched buttocks_ , "All evening dress robes, cocktail lounges and country house parties. Like the Malfoys." She paused. "Severus has invited me along to their May Ball. D'you think I should go?"

Alice shivered. "I wouldn't. I'm pretty sure Dumbledore has sent Sev to look for proof that Abraxus is a Death Eater. The Malfoys are creepy. Like all these old families with their passion for Pureblood Tradition."

"You mean like the Longbottoms? You don't think Frank is creepy. I saw you kissing him behind the greenhouse last night. And not just kissing!"

Alice blushed. She had been going out with Longbottom since their schooldays, longer than Lily had been with James Potter, and there were bets among the members of the Order as to whether she or Lily would be whisked up the aisle first.

"Yes, well," she said, "call it research. I'm putting in a bit where Ric gets all excited by the feel of Jamie's moustache on his cheek."

Lily giggled, and turned her pad so that her companion could see the sketch, Muggle pencil on Muggle paper, which showed a Ric Morton who looked remarkably like James Potter, crouched, bound with rope at wrists and ankles on a flagstone floor, while a moustached Frank Longbottom lookalike nuzzled the crack of his exposed arse.

"Oh Lily! You do have a filthy mind. That's not what I meant at all! And you know it." She leaned forward to examine the artwork more closely. "Er, did you mean to give Jamie three elbows?"

"Oh bother. Have I? Sirius came in while they were posing and distracted me. Still," she looked at the picture critically, "you could always pretend that he's _transfigured_ an extra arm for some reason. They are supposed to be _Special_ aurors."

Alice looked thoughtful . "It would be a useful for lots of things. Imagine _transfiguring_ a finger into a tongue. It opens up the possibility of whole new perversions they probably don't have names for."

"Transmogrophilia," said Lily.

"?"

"I asked Professor McGonagall – Minerva. You know she keeps a list for her Perennial Porn challenges. Which reminds me, I promised her this for her anniversary issue. D'you think it'll be finished in time?"

"Not if we keep chatting," said Alice. She went back to her notebook. Neither girl noticed the door of the room softly closing. Severus Snape had learned rather more this evening than he had wished about Lily Evans, Alice Ogden and the stern and straightlaced Professor Minerva McGonagall.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Technically, 'Transmogrophilia' would be love of people transformed into cats. I suspect the word Alice needs is 'Transformophilia' - though that would be a purely wizardly perversion!


End file.
